Lettuce Between Friends

The juicy second leaf

My guy.

Oh boy am I glad we’re doing this Ry. Ever since I moved interstate I have always thought the only logical way to catch up is to write each other a monthly letter but turn down the dial on the hassle of postage but turn up the dial on how many people can read it. It makes perfect sense. 

Haha, that’s so funny you thought I was training to be a witch/wizard like at Hogwarts, the Wizard school from the hit movie franchise Harry Potter And The [things].  No no no, I wish! No, what I think you’re referring to is that I did a SHORT ONLINE course on PRACTICAL magic from a wizard-LIKE person called Wayne who turned out to be actually a THIEF.  It was a super disappointing 4 months and to be honest I should have clicked earlier he was fleecing me. He would often log on to the zoom promising us that “this was finally the day” where he would teach us genuine spells but then his computer would always freeze just as he was getting into the lesson and I would wait patiently hoping for it to unfreeze until the end of the hour when he’d log off. I began to suspect the zoom wasn’t actually freezing but that he was screen sharing a still photo of himself in the same position.  My suspicions only increased when I noticed he’d “freeze” in the same green Ultra Tune promotional T shirt each time, even if he hadn’t logged on wearing that top.  It had a large (possibly soy sauce) stain on the left breast which added to the theory it was the same photo each week. I tried gently broaching the topic of him being in the same T shirt during the 50-55 minute “freeze” each week on SMS and he got annoyed and said it was “all part of the magic” and I would be kicked out of the course and fined an additional enrolment fee if I “kept up with this shit”.  But I know I’m right because one week during the freeze I tried calling his mobile and he answered and it sounded a lot like he was at the TAB rather than trying to wait for his internet connection to speed back up so he could teach me how to change traffic lights with my mind, to suit my needs.  I’ve basically now abandoned my dream of ever doing real magic, and am much more focussed on learning how to count cards at UNO so I can have an unfair advantage against my children.

Anyway, speaking of abandoning dreams, do you still try and get something up and running on Kickstarter every single month?  Sorry, I stopped following your alerts after our little mix up, but I’ve been wondering if you’re still at it.  What have you been inventing lately? To be clear, I’m NOT offering to invest (let’s not have that miscommunication again) I’m just interested as a friend in what you’re inventing, on an obligation free basis.

So great to hear you’re growing again! Far out. I definitely thought we were done with that but it goes to show you can never get complacent. How tall are you now? What’s your favourite thing you’ve been able to reach recently that previously was just out of your reach? 

I don’t really have much else to report, except I got a new cat!! Cap. Sorry, I meant cap. Don’t have time to elaborate on the design/fit etc, but might be able to in 2 months when I write back. 

Love you miss you

H.